:: Tuesday, December 26, 2006 ::

TAK JADI

Yup,
memang x boleh lekang lama2 dr blog. I have to admit that, I am a sense of addicted to it. *sigh*

So,
here I am waking in the middle of the night (early morning actually) just to blog something. This is the only time that I have to blog sebab Hubby akan bawa laptopnya ke office saban hari + pulang lewat malam :(. My laptop, as I have mentioned earlier in the previous post, it had gone... 'Kaput'!! :(.

What to update ek?

Oh yeah!
Alhamdulillah, my final semester result had came out + alhamdulillah again, it was like a dream-come-true. Got A for the thesis project (Yay..!! *sambil menjulang tangan kanan ke atas, tangan kiri ala-ala stand by nak bagi penumbuk* hahaha..). And the final semester result was .17 away to the full marks ;) ;) alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. Hanya Allah je yang tahu apa yang ditanggung dalam hati, physically + mentally sebelum ni. Allahu Akbar.. :(

At one time,
rasa dah give-up sangat2. Everything was totally messed up when suddenly my laptop when kaput in the middle of busying to complete it. Kepala duk pening2 fikir nak pinjam komputer siapa. Then, suddenly the software that I was using, having problems pulak when try to use it on other computers.

Lepas tu, rasa nak hantuk2 kepala kat dinding sebab couldn't find the best time to do it, as Aufa + Amsyar are in their utmost active stage. Baru nak type one word, Amsyar dah nangis2 nak dukung. Baru nak type one sentence, "Gedegang..!!" Amsyar terlentang ditolak Aufa. Settled with Amsyar, Aufa then having a bad fever. Muntah-muntah, batuk-batuk + she wanted me to hug her all the time. Bila sorang menangis, dua-dua menangis. Kesian sgt2.. Memang masa tu rasa depress sangat2. Plus, having to face all of it alone, makes me want to cry sooo bad...

Bila solat, memang menangis sangat2. Minta Allah tenang + tabahkan hati dengan semua ujian. Minta diberi ketenangan untuk mencari jalan penyelesaian. Alhamdulillah, lepas dah puas 'mengadu', rasa relieved sgt2.

"..Sesungguhnya Allah itu adalah sebaik-baik tempat pengaduan.."

Bila tatap wajah Aufa + Amsyar yang lena, my heart said, ".. This is not your fault. It is mine. I must be strong. Ummi kena berjuang lebih kuat lagi coz I chose this path .."

Yup,
they are my biggest inspiration besides my most loving Hubby yang tak putus-putus tiupkan semangat. And, yes. I work best under pressures--> like always ;).

So, then..
decided to spend my day-times concentrating to both of the kids + and being zombie in the middle of the night settling the workloads. Alhamdulillah, Abang pun tak banyak ragamnya sangat, hehehe.. Balik from office, dinner then... Zzzzzz... ;). Kesian, Abang memang kerja TERUK sangat2...

Bila siang hari, badan rasa letih sangattt... tapi, otak kata ".. kuat, kuat!! ..". Dah tu, kalau siang hari aku tido, cik kak + cik abang 2 orang tu sapa nak jaga? hehehe.. Tapi, kadang2 tu terbabas jugak.. tak pun memang sengaja membabaskan diri, hehehe..

Lastly, fikir2 balik memang terpaksa hantar Aufa + Amsyar ke rumah Papa + Mama. So that I can concentrate more: 24/7 minus 4 @ 5 hours for other activities hehehe..

Alhamdulillah,
actually I did the best decision. With the big decision, I managed to complete the thesis tremendously. Memang benar, kita dapat berfikir dengan lebih baik dengan minda + hati yang tenang. Dan ketenangan yang diperoleh merupakan anugerah Allah yang tidak terhingga. Bayangkan, kalau Allah tak mengizinkan hati ini untuk tenang, mana mungkin aku bisa membuat keputusan yang tepat dalam mencari jalan penyelesaian.

Setelah apa yang berlaku, aku membuat kesimpulan bahawa Allah memang turunkan setiap ujian itu utk menguji ketabahan dan kesabaran manusia, agar kita mencari hikmah yang terselindung di sebaliknya.

Dan,

sesungguhnya telah aku temui HikmahNya...

:: bAiTi Successfully Scribbled Her Head @ 5:34 pm [+] :: | Viewers Viewing ()